01/15/2010: "K.F.C."

Koopa F...ing Cape!
There's a SC that there have been fake youtube videos of for over a year, that someone has claimed to have hit. Unfortunately for now there is no actual proof of anything. Maybe we'll get an answer by the next news update!

New Players
Welcome to: Nick "The Hoff" Hoffmann , Florian "Spiderman" Weber, Torben "In real life" Irle, Adel "More Coffee" Moukafih, Terrence "Terror" Fenner, Dylan "Nick is an imposter" Imhoff, Andre "The Giant" Novak, Joe "The Plumber" Marner

New Records
James Pierrepont beat the old Luigi Circuit crs time of 1'09"477 with a time of: 1'09"435
Cookie Sancez beat the old Mushroom Gorge crs time of 0'41"275 with a time of: 0'40"681
Jazz Ahmed beat the old Koopa Cape crs time of 2'21"624 with a time of: 2'21"553
Mike Zarro beat the old Grumble Volcano crs time of 0'19"891 with a time of: 0'19"845
James Pierrepont beat the old GCN Peach Beach lap time of 0'22"545 with a time of: 0'22"468
Mickael Smolen beat the old GBA Shy Guy Beach lap time of 0'25"514 with a time of: 0'25"405
David McPartland beat the old DS Delfino Square lap time of 0'39"231 with a time of: 0'39"206
Dylan Imhoff beat the old GBA Bowser's Castle 3 crs time of 1'59"742 with a time of: 1'59"217
David McPartland beat the old GBA Bowser's Castle 3 lap time of 0'38"459 with a time of: 0'38"339
Anis Taktak beat the old DS Peach Gardens lap time of 0'38"770 with a time of: 0'38"744

Movement
The big news this update is of course Nick Meade. Nick became the first person in 287 days to beat David and take the #1 crown. The lead was brief as David sent in a few times of his own, and now they are practically even on AF, only separated by 7 positions overall out of all 64 charts. Other people playing could swing this in either person's favour. A butterfly flapping its wings in Australia could...well..it's not going to do much to alter anything, but someone might think it looked pretty, and then what would we do?!? Beware the butterfly apocolypse people!!

Uhh..so that's that. Nick and David weren't the only people sending in times this update. There were 88 other people making promising moves, or promising to make moves, or you know. One of those "you know" people was #10 Tyler McNell. Tyler was on his way to Oz to find a heart as he'd been coldly casting aside so many people on his journey up the chart that people had begun to talk. He saw Ben Hart up ahead, so passed 6 people in one dizzying move to smash into the top 10 and finish right behind him.

Someone in even a bigger hurry than Tyler, is #14 Jimmy Benson. Jimmy PR'd 35 times, and cut 21% of his AF. Having only reached the top 20 in the last update, he's keen to be rid of the teen ranks as quickly as possible. Knocking on the door of the top 20 with his sword is #21 Mike Zarro. Gary Marcoz is standing on the other side of the door, so I wouldn't want to be him right about now. #24 Robert van Zanten continues to make steady progress week in and week out. Not stopping for a rest this update, he's up 3 places.

#26 Eric Hacksell has said goodbye to his partner in crime Enders, and gone his own way past 5 players, although perhaps Pierrepont won't mind dropping a spot having reclaimed his LC WR.#28 Tony Ruiz flexes his muscles as he makes light work of 11 players who may or may not be overweight. Spinach is good. At least this is what I learned from popeye. The 20-30 activity this week was intense to say the least, and breaking into the top 30 is #30 Brandon Sansui whose last name I can't pronounce. It's probably a good thing these news updates are written and not spoken.

Simultaneously breaking into the top 60, top 50 and top 40 this week is #35 Rachel Emerson, who was #107 a very short time ago. This is the biggest single AF cut of the update. I've taken a long time to get to the end of the top 50 writeup, and just by coincidence, the last person I'm going to mention is #46 David Long, who has finished breaking things, and is now on his journey up the chart.

50 to infinity, and beyond
#53 Daniel Pascua didn't much like being pointed out to the vultures last time out, and promptly picked up his pace, passing an even 10 players, and getting quite close to the top 50.
The winner of the "Minimum Effort, Maximum Gain" game this week is #55 Ashley O'Hara, who passed 5 players with just 6 PRs total. The winner of the "I can pass exactly 17 players" game is #56 Ricardo Costa, who finished just 1 spot behind the efficient O'Hara. #60 Henrik Distel is continuing to make great progress having only joined the site a few weeks ago. He breaks the top 60 with a 12 place gain.

#69 Salvatore Bellusci, who has a name like he should be in movies, improved over half his times and is up 7 places. #74 Oliver Martin is the highest new entry to the AF chart this week, so I'm going to go away and try to think of how to make fun of your name in a future update. These are the things we live for! #77 Agustin Berrios is another player who only recently broke into the top 100. He's making sure he stays here for quite some time, by making a nice 15 place move. #85 Joseph Knighton has succeeded in his quest and is now valiantly guarding the king's daughter Sophie in 86th place. You can always rely on a knight!(on). #95 Alex Vandegrift is fighting not to fall out of the top 100 with the fierce competition around. He moves up slightly this week and finds his feet. Finally, two players who broke into the top 100 this update. Congrats go to #97 Max Anossow and #99 Nicholas Telford, who passed 11 and 13 players respectively to get here.

Just cruelly missing out on the top 100 this update is #101 Kjeld van Keulen. It's the single worst position to be in on the chart. Well, it's joint worst with..every position that isn't 1st. Kjeld moves up 9 spots. Moving closer to the top 100 also is #107 Thibaud Bourdeau, who PR'd 18 times and moved up a few spots. Moving up a few spots too is #126 Zack Weber, who is our newest times updater and doesn't afraid of anything.

Relatively new to the chart is #134 Dexter Howe, who makes a great cut of 19 places to keep his momentum going. Another whose momentum is gaining them places is #154 Manuela Perez improving 23 times and passing me. I should probably play again soon. #199 Adam Gilbert Pelling not only has 3 names, but also broke into the top 200 this update. Good luck Adam. It's a hard climb from here to 100! Finally, our last mover is 260 Daniel Sampson, who once again improved exactly half his times to pass 12 players.

Good Karting everyone. I'm going to get some KFC.