12/15/2009: "thunk fall thunk fall............thunk fall"

As the time approaches where we start thinking of roasting chestnuts on an open fire, hanging decorations and lights and listening out for the sound of hoofs on the roof, spare a thought for those of us who will be hearing a different sound this Christmas.
*Thunk*....*Fall*

GV2: The Shortening
So about 2 or 3 weeks ago a new shortcut was discovered on Ghost Valley 2. I took a look at a video and thought to myself, "Hah, that looks simple". So I took my copy of mkwii out of the attic (It was actually sitting in a bag under a pile of clothes, but attic sounds cooler), and decided to play for the first time this year. I merrily bopped my head along to the music on the menu screens, and selected GV2. Lights went out..I moved forward a bit....swivelled...boosted/shroomed/wheelied...hit the pole with a *thunk*.......and fell straight down.
After a billion attempts at this with much the same result (sometimes I fell in a different spot), I decided to play the course normally, and actually PR'd on both the flap and 3lap, but no biggie as I'm entrenched a long way into the pit of despair. But to sum up my thoughts on this, getting massive air time off that pole is just not possible, and all the videos I've seen, and the 10 players who have beaten the previous Site Record on this flap are clearly fake, and must be irradicated as soon as possible.

New Players
Welcome to:
Jonas "I just chucked extra letters into my last name" Natanaelsson, Sofie "Winner" Wimmer, Henrik "Vin" Distel, and Brandon "My name started off as one nationality and ended as another" Sansui

New Records
Romain Smadja beat the old Luigi Circuit lap time of 0'21"826 with a time of: 0'21"782
Cookie Sancez beat the old Mushroom Gorge lap time of 0'12"506 with a time of: 0'12"200
Aziz Abdullah beat the old Toad's Factory crs time of 1'51"363 with a time of: 1'51"340
Cole Gilbert beat the old Koopa Cape crs time of 2'21"771 with a time of: 2'21"624
Cole Gilbert beat the old Koopa Cape lap time of 0'44"891 with a time of: 0'44"774
Alex Shoal beat the old Bowser's Castle crs time of 2'12"517 with a time of: 2'12"477
Romain Smadja beat the old GCN Peach Beach lap time of 0'22"556 with a time of: 0'22"545
Romain Smadja beat the old DS Yoshi Falls crs time of 0'59"473 with a time of: 0'59"405
Romain Smadja beat the old DS Yoshi Falls lap time of 0'18"526 with a time of: 0'18"516
Alvin Le beat the old SNES Ghost Valley 2 lap time of 0'16"604 with a time of: 0'15"019
Honourable mentions have to go to the other 9 *thunk* *wheeeee* players who also landed this SC well enough to beat the non-sc WR:
Alex Shoal, Yorick Meeker, Eric Hacksell, Pepotti San, Greg Coffino, Tony Ruiz, Thibaud Bourdeau, Max Anossow, Joshua Reinshagen
Marc Bas beat the old N64 DK's Jungle Parkway lap time of 0'42"231 with a time of: 0'42"098
Romain Smadja beat the old DS Peach Gardens lap time of 0'38"838 with a time of: 0'38"770

Movement
#1 David McPartland didn't move this week. He's sitting at the top of the mountain, sipping some hot beverage. In fact he's been at the top for so long now that he's probably built himself a nice log cabin. I wish I had a log cabin. The 5 players behind him, all played. Unfortunately they played in such a way as to each end up with a worse AF than the last update, although still closer to the cabin. Someone not trying to defy the laws of physics is #8 Cole Gilbert. He played, and shockingly improved his AF too. Up from 11th to return to the top 10 for the first time since...he left it the last time. #9 Ben Hart moved up solidly from 10th, although he'll be a bit miffed to see the guy who was behind him, now in front of him, but at least his AF is better. This brings us back to those 5 from #2 to #6. Like most SC discoveries, anyone who doesn't master it will be subject to natural AF-drift. So for the next while, the field will be subject to GV2-drift. It's interesting to see though, that whilst anyone in the top 200 could theoretically beat the old SR, only 10 people have been able to hit a sweet time. If it was easier, it may have been a contributing factor to a change of Site Champion.

People who can only dream about being Site Champion are those sitting at base camp, looking up at the final climb through the top 10. One of these is #12 Alvin Le. Alvin is our resident GV2 expert, nailing a time just over 15 seconds and making me sad. I fly through the air as gracefully as a brick doesn't. With the aid of his new WR, he moves up from unlucky 13th. Another player on the move is #16 Tyler McNell. #16 Tyler McNell was once known as #21 Tyler McNell, but he didn't much like that. He PR'd like a maniac and moved up 5 spots. Up 2 spots this update is #22 Jimmy Benson. I don't know what Jimmy's real name is. It's changed about 7 times in the last few weeks, and after the incident with Zarro it all got a bit confusing, but Jimmy Benson seems like a good strong name. I might name a kid that someday. Then I'll beat the kid at mariokart and call him other names. Parenthood is probably a bad idea.

I decided this week that I was going to mention everyone who had moved up at least 1 spot on the AF top 100 list, and also everyone with a funny name. Then I thought about it and decided to do only the first one. Also I should point out that the AF chart change column, and my news update are pretty much never from/to the same dates, so if I leave people out, or if you think I have, it's probably just because I hate you. You should start a facebook campaign against me (P.S. Don't do that, or it will make me sad).

Next up is #28 Robert van Zanten. Robert ninja'd his way into the top 30 last update without me noticing and just stealthed passed Fabien Jacques. Markus better keep his eyes open. Last time out #33 Dustin Enders moved to within striking distance of a few players. This time around, he took those players out. And not, like, on a date. I mean in a mafia way. He probably killed them, I mean his name is Enders for crying out loud. It's what he does! Someone currently checking if they're still alive or not is #34 Anis Taktak, whose Taktik was probably to pretend to be dead when Dustin passed him. Anis is up 2 spots this week. #37 Eric Hacksell made a larger cut to his AF than most people above, except for Cole and Tyler, but Tyler was a maniac, and Cole was trying to bring sanity back to physics. Eric won't get a cool nickname this week, but he'll be happy with the 4 place move. Rounding out the top 40 in traditional style is #39 Tony Ruiz. Tony is our highest new entry this week to the AF chart. Good job!

Then for a long time nothing happens, as if the space-time continuum has been shattered a little in this part of the AF chart. Suspicously, the one person able to move in this area is #47 David Long, who broke the top 50 last time out, and has broken the spirits of all those around him currently. It's pretty devious, and nobody has moved out of the wastelands this time around.

Into the wasteland, and although bleak, there is some hope. #59 Ashley O'Hara attempts to go with the wind, like his sister, but it only helps to move him up the one spot. Another player who is just trying his best (hey, I resisted making a hart joke earlier, let me have this), is #62 Justin Best, up another spot this week. #66 Greg Coffino continues his good form moving up a place, but there's a decent gap between him and the next group, and he has to pass through the valley of vultures before he gets there. #72 Salvatore Bellusci is practicing for being in the top 10, by dropping AF points, but he moves up 2 spots this week. #76 Henrik Distel and #77 Brandon Sansui both join the site in the top 100, which is always an impressive feat.

Someone with impressive feet is #86 Joshua Reinshagen. He ran past a full 7 players, and will take out a good few more if he keeps up the pace. Hunting him down is Leslie Wolf. Leslie did a bit of a double act with #89 Joseph Knighton this week by improving his AF, but losing spots. Both are still pointed in the right direction though. Joseph has a lance too. Lastly, congratulations to 2 players climbing out of the pit of despair this week. They are #93 Agustin Berrios and #94 Alex Vandegrift. It may be bleak at the tail-end of the top 100, and there may be vultures up ahead, but damn, it sure doesn't smell too bad.

Sometimes at night, if you listen hard enough, you can make out the wailing coming from the pit of despair. It's a place only spoken of in whispers around campfires late at night. Once the pit has you....
One player has one hand solidly on wasteland soil. His grip is fierce, and he no longer needs the rope for support. #101 Du Bois, who is shedding his "pit" name CousCous now that he smells freedom. He clambered feverishly past 7 players, kicking them as he went by on the rope and watching as 5 others fell from the wasteland into the pit behind him. Someone up to where he was last week is #108 Nicholas Harvey. Nicholas shows no sign of letting up, with a huge 34 PRs last week, he throws in another 27 this week to move up 8 places. Not wanting to be outdone, #109 Max Anossow does something inexplicable, and passes 22 players with 20 PRs. At the bottom of the rope that dangles down to #120, is #117 Andrew Manning, who made an extra effort, by passing 6 players when he saw light from above.
Lastly, forgotten, deep within the hellish tunnels and caverns that sprawl out from the bottom of the pit is the moving blur of #186 Florian Chollet. Florian clearly saw something so terrifying that he wasted no time passing 59 players to get away from it. One can only imagine the horrors that lie beyond....

12/15/2009: "*thunk* *fall* *thunk* *fall*............*thunk* *fall*"

12/15/2009: "thunk fall thunk fall............thunk fall"